I have learned a few things about anxiety in the last few weeks. It can mess with your temper, your sleeping patterns and even your heartbeat. Sometimes I think being a nursing student makes me a little bit of a hypochondriac but given my medical history it seems a little justified.
There's not too much wrong with me that some good sleep won't cure. I'm just starting to realize that I don't think I've gotten any real sleep for about 12 years. I've tried lots of things. Lavender scents, no electronic distractions, no caffeine after 4 pm, eye patches, ear plugs, making lists before bed. Now with all my Pharmacology knowledge and the desire to not die from ventricular fibrillations, my doctor prescribed me some sleeping pills.
This was the first time I ever had taken a sleeping pill and he warned me, make sure you allow 8 hours and time it right and that your husband is aware because it will knock you out. I was a little nervous at first. Moms always sleep with one ear open. What if a child wakes up in the middle of the night with a bad nightmare or worse, thrown up in their bed? But my husband has always gotten up with me in the past when I needed him and he assured me to take the pill.
I didn't know what to expect. I laid in my bed waiting for abrupt unconsciousness. Instead the most amazing thing happened. Sleep overtook my brain. Like when I was a child. Like when you had a long day at the beach and your shoulders are a little pink from too much sun and you are completely relaxed and sleep overtakes you in a wave from the back of your neck all the way to the top of your head. I had forgotten what it felt like, it has been so long.
I only get to take them when I really, really need them. Right now that seems like I need one every night but I will save them for the nights before tests and clinicals.
I am a big believer in sleep.
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